Same-sex couples seeking to expand their families have many options to consider. Some choose private adoptive placements or become parents through foster care systems. Others choose a more direct route. They use medically-assisted reproduction to produce a child that is a biological relative of one spouse.
For many couples, choosing which partner contributes gametes can be one of the more challenging aspects of using in-vitro fertilization (IVF) and gestational surrogacy to grow a same-sex family.
Only one partner can provide gametes per embryo
The tragic reality for same-sex couples is that only one parent can theoretically have a genetic relationship to their shared child. Making decisions about who provides sperm or eggs can be challenging.
Some lesbian couples work around this limitation through reciprocal surrogacy. They use eggs from one woman to create embryos that the other wife then carries through IVF. Both mothers enjoy a profound connection to the child in such cases.
For male couples, factors, including age and family health concerns, might influence the decision of who provides gametes. Testing for genetic issues can potentially help settle disagreements about genetic parentage for same-sex couples.
Sometimes, same-sex couples choose to use donated gametes or embryos instead to avoid disputes and complex emotional responses. Making determinations about gametes and reproductive technology may require the insight of a legal professional familiar with these complex and unique circumstances.
Same-sex couples hoping to grow their families may need to sit down and discuss their priorities and concerns before signing agreements with one another, a surrogate or a medical facility. Decisions about gametes and embryos can be deeply personal, and spouses need to ensure they agree on such matters to limit emotional disputes during the process of medically-assisted reproduction as it unfolds.