Deciding how to build your family is a big decision. If you’re thinking about surrogacy or adoption, you’re probably wondering what the best path is for you. Both are wonderful ways to become parents, but they’re very different. Let’s explore what you need to consider.

Types of surrogacy and adoption

Surrogacy involves another woman carrying your baby. Two types exist: gestational, where the surrogate is not genetically related (baby created via IVF with your/donor eggs/sperm), and traditional, where the surrogate is genetically related (her egg used), which is less common and more legally complex.

Adoption is when you legally become the parent of a child who was born to other parents. There are different types of adoption, like adopting a newborn, adopting from foster care or adopting internationally.

Surrogacy vs. adoption: What to consider

Both surrogacy and adoption are ways to build a family, but they involve different processes, costs, and emotional considerations. Here’s what you need to think about:

  • Genetics: In gestational surrogacy, at least one parent can be genetically related to the child. In adoption, the child will not be genetically related to you.
  • Cost: Surrogacy can be very expensive, often costing over $100,000. Adoption costs vary widely depending on the type of adoption, but it’s generally less expensive than surrogacy.
  • Legal issues: Both surrogacy and adoption involve legal contracts and court processes. Surrogacy laws vary from state to state, so it’s important to understand the laws and consult with an experienced attorney. Adoption also has specific legal requirements to ensure the child’s well-being and the rights of all parties involved, including birth parents.
  • Emotional journey: Both paths can be emotionally challenging. Surrogacy involves a close relationship with the surrogate, and you’ll need to be prepared for the ups and downs of pregnancy. Adoption can involve dealing with the child’s past and helping them adjust to their new family.
  • Time: Surrogacy can take 1-2 years from start to finish. Adoption timelines vary, with domestic infant adoptions potentially taking several years and foster care adoptions often being quicker.
  • Control: With surrogacy, you have more control over the pregnancy and birth process. With adoption, you’re working with existing children and their unique backgrounds.

Choosing between surrogacy and adoption is a personal decision. Think about what’s most important to you: genetics, cost, the level of involvement in the pregnancy and the age of the child. Talk to your partner, do your research and consider talking to families who have chosen both paths. Later on, consult with an attorney so they can provide personalized advice based on your specific circumstances.